Energy Within Relationships: Series

Change is inevitable in any long-term relationship. We grow, evolve, and every now and then surprise ourselves. But what happens when one partner leans more into their adventurous and outgoing side, and the other remains grounded and reserved? 

It can feel like you’re slowly growing in different directions.

Maybe one of you wants to try new things—travel more, meet new people, take risks—while the other prefers stability, routine, and familiar comforts. This difference can sometimes lead to quiet frustration, misunderstandings, or even a sense of distance. 

But here’s something to consider: Change doesn’t HAVE to mean disconnection. Rather, when framed differently, it can actually be an invitation—an opportunity to deepen your connection and learn how to grow together, even if you’re not changing in the same way. 

Below we explore how to navigate this shift with love, honesty, and grace. 

1. Acknowledge the Change Without Blame 

The first step is simple, but often overlooked: Acknowledge what is happening.

People evolve.

Needs shift.

Interests expand.

This isn’t a problem to fix or a phase to wait out. It’s part of life. Rather than saying, “You’re changing,” or “Why aren’t you the same?” say, “I’ve noticed we’re growing in different ways lately. I love you and want to understand how we can keep growing together?” 

Change becomes less threatening when we meet it with curiosity instead of blame. 

2. Keep the Conversation Going 

Don’t let resentment build in silence, instead, talk openly about: 

• What the more adventurous partner is craving or excited about. 
• What the more reserved partner is feeling—perhaps overwhelmed, left behind, or uncertain. 
• Give space when your partner is not willing to communicate at that time. 

Create space for each other to share without judgment. These aren’t just logistical conversations (“What are we doing this weekend?”), but emotional ones: “Are there any new interest that you have been excited about lately?”, “What do you need to feel close and connected right now?” 

3. Find the Common Ground 

It’s not about forcing the same interests—it’s about finding overlap.

You may not love wild adventures, but maybe a cooking class together stretches you just enough. Or maybe your partner scales back a bit and joins you for a cozy night after their solo hike. 

Think of it as a Venn diagram. Where do your comfort zones and interests meet? Start there. 

4. Respect Individuality (Especially When It Comes to Hobbies) 

Loving someone doesn’t mean loving all the same things. In a healthy relationship, it’s normal—and even beneficial—for each person to have their own hobbies, passions, and ways of spending free time. 

Maybe you love hiking, and they’d rather stay in with a good book.

Maybe they get energized by team sports, while you’re happiest painting alone in silence.

You don’t have to share every interest to share a strong connection. The goal isn’t to do everything together—it’s to support each other in doing what brings you joy. 

Sometimes the most loving thing you can say is: "Go do that thing that brings you joy; I’ll be right here when you’re back.” 

Giving each other that space not only builds trust, it keeps the relationship balanced and resilient—where “we” doesn’t erase “me.” 

5. Be Curious, Not Intrusive  

Ask gentle, open-ended questions like: 

• “What are you drawn to these days?” 
• “What’s been making you most alive?” 
• “Is there anything that I can do to supported you in your endeavors?” 

These questions create a connection. They show that you’re not afraid of the change—you’re willing to explore it with your partner. 

6. Revisit Your Relationship Culture 

Every couple has a “relationship culture”—shared routines, values, and unspoken agreements. Sometimes, these become outdated as you grow. Revisit them. 

Are you still aligned in the big picture?

Do you still share the same values about love, safety, trust, and adventure—even if your daily lives are shifting? 

This is your chance to co-create the next version of your relationship together. 

Final Thoughts 

Change in a relationship doesn’t have to be scary. It can be a beautiful, messy, hopeful reminder that you’re both alive, and still choosing each other. 

Let go of the need to match each other perfectly. Instead, aim to move forward with intention—growing not apart, but alongside each other, with room for bold steps and quiet pauses. 

You’re not losing to each other, you’re learning how to love each other in new ways.

*Look for our weekly blogs to go further in depth about this*